There are a few things that have been playing on my mind lately. For those of you who have major depression and/or bipolar disorder, this might ring a bell. As of late, I’ve had a difficult time forcing myself out of bed in the morning. Normally, I would contribute that to my insomnia; however, it’s different this time. You know that sinking feeling that can’t be shaken and you’re more scared of living than dying? Well, I feel like I’m there. I’m afraid to look in the mirror to see the disappointment I’ve created and the failure that is me.
On the other hand, in the past month, I have made great strides. I started a new hobby which has flourished into several successful and growing ventures. With that, I’ve found a new love for life and a zest I was missing. I have been de-stressing my life one piece at a time and I am learning more about myself daily.
As you can see, there are a few classic characteristics of bipolar disorder that I’ve been fighting: depression, difficulty sleeping and needing to try new things. My biggest challenge at this point is taking my new adventures and keeping up with them. Yet another trait of bipolar disorder: lofty ideas begun and never finished. Not only that, my mood has been fluctuating rapidly. Happy one minute and in the depths of despair the next minute is not a healthy way to live.
DONCHA JUST HATE THAT!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not too good with grooming, either. Do you get that?
If I don't want to get out of bed, I get the kids off to school then go back! Why not! I like to read there till I'm tired then sleep for a few (or many) hours.
Or take a long bath (we installed a DEEP tub so it would cover big me), with a good book, and a big hot fudge banana split. Or fall asleep IN the tub.
Oh, and I have OH so many unfinished things/piles/projects lying around the house. Yup. That's me. Too.